First Time

My husband and I are going to have our first child together and I have no idea what to do! We are about 5 and half months along the way and while his the calm and collective type, (which annoys me, because I'm totally the opposite but thats one of the reason why I love him) I'm here trying to figure it all out. Sometimes it makes my head hurt and other times I get all excited and gitty because I cant wait to see this bundle of the joy. Then I start to think about all the things you have to do and all that you have teach and prepare this little person thats about to come into this new world of ours.

I will I know which cry means what?, There's one cry for hungry, another cry for burping, a cry for going to the bathroom, a cry for sleepiness, I never realized how many cries there for just one person! Then there's making sure that the baby learns all these fundamentals and basics to life's mystery. How will we know what to teach it?, How will we know what we taught him or her (we dont know what the sex of the baby is yet) actually sunked in their head.

I never realized the big scheme of this whole parenting thing, even though we are excited and couldnt be happier how do we know. that the thing we "think we know" is the right things to teach them. I finally know how my parents felt must have felt like, and like my mother would always say to me "Wait until you become a parent then you'll understand what I'm saying" I never thought that would actually be true! Great now I have to admit to her that she was right. Grrrrrrrr! So mom if your reading this, You were right. There happy, (she probally is, since she always like to right be right, god I love her.

And then there's that fear that one has growing up, that one day they will grow up to their parents and sure enough here I am turning into my mother! I never thought I would see that day happening. My husband Nathaniel tells me this sometimes, with certain expressions or I'll say something that he heard my mother say. And everytime his tells me this I think of my mother and how happy she must feel if she were to hear that. Grrrrrr again lol.

So for all the mothers and fathers out there who once had the joy of raising one child or 8 of them (Nathaniel comes from a family 8, I know its shocking because I cant barely fathom having one let alone 8 kids!) I have no idea how his family didnt and I thought my family was hard to keep up (I'm the oldest of the 3 kids), I feel what you went through and I must say thank you for all your hard work, because now I know what that actually means.

I thought I would share some insight on how my generation must be feeling about having and rising kids. I just hope that I could do the same job my mother did. It still baffles me, even now as I'm writing this how she raised us all.

I just hope that I would be able to figure this whole parenting thing out. Especially figuring out what the crying means..............

An American Girl Part 1

Life can take some unexpected twist and turns. I've been living a new city for about 1 year now, I just got married about 3 weeks ago (I was engaged for over a year and half) and my husband and I are expecting our first baby together. I knew that all this would be different and hard work, but I never knew it would be this hard and so different. I was in school finishing up by BA degree in hotel and restaurant management, but thats on hold until one day I get the to chance to go back and finish what I started. ( my husband wants me to go back b/c he knows thats my dream)

What I would like to know is how do people do all this? How do you go from knowing extactly what you wanted out of life to life's unexpected things? How do you find your way back from where you've started?

All this is new to me, baby and marriage, how can you feel like you have everything and still feel like you dont.....